https://americanaddictioncenters.org/alcoholism-treatment/spouse, https://www.verywellmind.com/things-to-stop-if-you-love-an-alcoholic-67300, https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/alcohol, 5 effects of living with an alcoholic husband, Dealing with an alcoholic husband: 10 ways. Bringing an extra pair of pants or a sweater might keep you more comfortable for what could be a lengthy labor. Get weekly updates on baby and your body. Labor was a piece of cake until they broke my bag of waters. Did you have a birth plan? He tried to Mapquest the directions while driving down the highway and almost killed us. This, my friends, is truly a gift. Want Mommy Shorts delivered daily or weekly to your inbox? There is absolutely a possibility she'll go into labor and need him. Speak to them when theyre sober and discuss setting a limit to it. You need to have a serious talk with your DH. The next few hours are a blur but my husband keeps having to leave to use the bathroom. Braxton hicks are most often painless or at the worst, uncomfortable. My husband devours some of the Popeyes chicken and then comes back in and sits with me and then falls asleep. I'll talk to him tomorrow. Im not sure where to start with my story and it has been 20 years and fresh in my mind. These are hilarious! What will you do if you're away or home sick but the baby needs to go to the ER at night because there is something serious going on? Binge drinking is a kind of alcoholism. Soon enough he gets a call from his mother asking how the delivery is going. My husband fell in a deep sleep and would not wake up to me calling him. Awww come on, suck it up. Must have been all that digesting he was doing :S. Im currently being induced in 9 days, my husband actually says hes going to stay home for the fucking dog! . Once emergency responders had arrived and . I waddle downstairs expecting everyone to be ready to leave and find them eating waffles and watching cartoons. Money was scarce. We had to track him down when it was time for my epidural and after that he fell asleep. First, would he normally drive after 5 drinks? Five drinks regularly to "unwind" isquite a lot. It may be harsh but is needed. , Thats awesome. With my first I called my then husband to tell him my water broke, he asked if I could drive myself to the hospital so he didnt have to leave work. He then drank some juice and couldnt hold my leg while I pushed because he was still a little shaky. He called the hospital and they said theyd call him as soon as anything happened. After threats, and having my parents call and force him to drive back. Delivery type: Vaginal that progressed to C-section. The only way to stop this from happening is to let your husband know that you wont tolerate any unacceptable behavior of theirs under any circumstances. I've tried explaining this to him, but he . What bugged me was that my husband didnt want to call into work so I was the one who had to meet the girl and her entire family (her, her boyfriend(not the dad), her mom, dad, grandma, step mom, step dad, sister and I think the family dog. One of the major issues that you, as the wife of an alcoholic husband, may face is awkward situations in public or family gatherings. It sounds like you and your H are both in denial (as apparently are a few other posters on this thread). Copyright 2009-2023 Creative Skirt, LLC. I would be wasted if I had 5 drinks. Hiding bottles or drinking secretly so that family will not know what . Mines more funny than bad: I went to the hospital 7 weeks early and had an emergency c-section because of HELLP syndrome. My husband has already been given the expectation that the next couple weeks he can't drink all that much (not like he does normally, but he is trying to plan a guy's night this . He cracked jokes the entire time, including asking my medical team (all women in masks) what they were making in woodshop. Oh well, possibly because it was the day before I gave birth to our 3rd child, Jack. I had our birth center bag ready. What Red Raspberry Leaf Tea can do: Strengthen and tone the uterus. Raspberry Leaf Tea. I was progressing very rapidly and I was in great pain. Even if they "handle their liquor well" they are drunk at that point. There was a family business. I havent read all 237 responses, but did you get any from gay couples? This is not an average, it is the maximum recommended amount for any given day. Around 3am I felt a twinge. They were 1 minute apart, which was not what the books and classes told us we should be at this early on. But he's probably young enough where that can all be avoided if he changes his patterns NOW. I gotta say my husband was good in the delivery room, but I have a whole piece written up about the birth of our 1st, which includes a lot more crap he pulled like hitting every pot hole on the way from out apt to the hospital in Midtown but its way longer than a blog post & when I tried to publish it no one was interested. My husband and I have had our problems with his drinking in the past. The heavy drinker, seemingly unaware of what is happening, become furious, resentful and enraged. Preterm labor can be risky for you and your baby. So here I am in the passenger seat, in labor, trying (graciously, mind you) to keep my moaning down so he can make this call. So, the advice here is to keep away from the situation and let things happen. What is the typical personality of an alcoholic? My hubby has a habit of drinking a lot (over 5 drinks in an evening) after a rough day at work, and I'm worried I'll go into labor, and he'll be extremely buzzed. "Put. With my 2nd son, he kept watching the monitor and telling me when I was having a contraction. My MIL came by after her work at 3pm to bring me food, saw the mess of family and refused to leave till I was tucked into a room with the baby across the building from the birth family. Have you ever told him that? Remember, youre not to be blamed for their habit. I dont know why I remember things like that. Are you kidding me? Labor Story #8: The waiting game (41 weeks / vaginal to C-section) Location: Alexandria, Va. Year: 2013. Indeed! At the hospital after the birth of our second child, my husband asked if we could not stay at the hospital because he didnt sleep well there and it hurt his backand, apparently he won that one because we packed up and headed home, where his selective hearing allowed him to sleep through the night from that point forward. In some cases, there are no signs. In the throes of that hell my husband turns to me and says, Im about to head out and meet up with the fellas. Wow, after reading all of this, I swear my DH is a god among men! When one starts living with a functioning alcoholic husband, they try to take control of situations, as mentioned above, and behave as a counselor. I'm so sorry that you are going through this, I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I know the baby could come anytime now but I can't really worry too much about it or it will just make me worry more. Needless to say..while gasping for breath, I told him to shut up. I had to wait nearly an hour for my epidural and was 8cm when I got it. Its amazing he still had the equipment to impregnate me one more time time!!!! With my 1st son, my husband wanted to take a shower before we left for the hospital. The next contraction, I look over to see him asleep. Reach out to rescue them only when they seek out help. Im 38 weeks pregnant so after a couple hours (10:30pm) I went inside with my 2 yr old, only to come back down to him still drinking and now smoking hookah with his brother, male cousins and 3 young thots that showed up. Hes a genius. Here are 10 ways of dealing with an alcoholic husband: Wondering how you should be dealing with an alcoholic husband? It is also important to seek professional. You can also ask them any questions you may have and share your experiences with them. Nitrous oxide, a.k.a. I don't know how or when you've approached him about this, but I think if you haven't you need to make sure it is on the weekend when he's had time to relax. First is, do you have a backup person who can be there for you? If that isnt bad enough, he dropped my right leg DURING labor, to show my doctor the outfit my daughter would be wearing home! I was only at the hospital for two hours before she arrived. Honestly more hurt that thats more important, then it is funny! Wondering how? I'm currently 38+2 days pregnant and expected to go into labour anytime as this is my 4th baby. Judging from the two phone calls I had with Uncle B while she was in labor (one in which he was right by her side at the hospital and the other in which he was buying her a box of popsicles), Id say he didnt screw his job up nearly as bad as most of your husbands did. He hesitated and then said, I ate it all. I was so busy being in labor that I failed to notice he was munching on my all my snacks! 1.) (More on my adorable new nephew later this week.). First of all, I'm sorry you're going through this; especially at this point in your pregnancy. Thanks for sticking with us for a full year. My husband laid down on the couch in the hospital room, rolled over and fell asleep. (this part was planned, hospital rule, only 2 in the delivery room besides the mom- so her mom and I attended) I was mentally exhausted by the time the baby was born at 6:44 pm. Hes pretty lucky the epidural finally kicked in halfway through their lunch date! This can help you deal with issues and challenges more easily and effectively. Amy Dickinson. Oh yeah, and he lost like 15lbs over the course of 2 months without drinking. We got to the hospital at 7:30 and I was already pushy. The only place open nearby is Popeyes. My now ex husband left me home to go to army reserves for the day as i labored home alone. examples of crazy crap your husbands pulled while you were in labor. My husband stopped drinking the first week in April. Someone needs to tell them it is not helpful to say things likeHere we go. and This looks like a big one.. He came back to the hospital with a thong. I walked up and down the stairs a few times to see if it was real labor. After like 2 hours I called to have him tell me he didnt feel good so he was taking a nap, and that he was sure I could handle our daughter on my own. Pleaseselect whether I bother you once a day or once a week. my hubby went on smoke breaks during each contactions I had. At first he acted like I was over reacting but later apologized and agreed with me. So, feeling AOK, we walked up the hill to the party, socialised and I left Phil to continue cooking sausages and shooting the shit and took the other two kids home around midnight. I suppose I should give him credit for being there at least. Im sure there are a ton of great husbands/partners out there. When I kicked it off and yelled at him to get whatever was touching me off, he responded with its just a magazine. For instance, Mike made me wait in the lobby of our building while he went to get a . I think I may have got lucky! I dont want to deal with your stink and neither do the doctors and nurses! Third, I would look into more long term plans on how to unwind after a long day at work. Call a sibling or a friend and have them be at the ready to bring you to the hospital on the off chance your husband decides to booze it up with his co-workers. Don't take anything personally. Now is the perfect time to start your Baby Registry! -Carrie, After I finally agreed to an epidural, the nurse explained that it would feel like a quick little bee sting. When she left, my husband says to me, very sweetly and earnestly, Ive had many epidurals, and I just want you to know, it doesnt feel ANYTHING like a bee sting. 1 Answer. Living with an alcoholic husband requires a lot of patience, courage, and the support of people around. In labor with our second after my water broke at 6am. If he won't deal with that, you should. I thought he was bad, but now I see he was just average. It wasnt my normal doctor and she didnt believe me when I said that my four weeks early baby was estimated at around 9lbs 14 OAS two days prioryeah, I have huge kids, no gestational diabetesanyway So, she ignored that and made me incisions too small and couldnt get the baby out, despite the epidural it was PAINFUL and after ten minutes of yanking (not kidding) and vacuuming and RIPPING MY INCISION TO THE SIDE, I was screaming and crying. Pregnant . Either way, the amniotic sac surrounding the baby has broken, and your kid is on the way. He only ever left my side to grab a bite once in the cafe. I dont thnk so, Omgi cant stop laughing at the thong.Im in tears here The love and support of your family can help you cope during this difficult time and give you the encouragement you need to get back on track. lol. Prodromal labor usually won't. Thanks! Now, no matter how many babies you have given birth to, you still never quite remember the feeling of going into labour until it actually happens again. I know you probably came on here just to vent about your guy being insensitive to your worries, but I have to speak up when I see such specific and high quantities related to drinking. I guess this is natures version of temporary amnesia because clearly, without it, wed never go back for more. Okay tell me when we need to go so I can shower first, he said. -RealMomofNJ, Mine kicked me out of the car in the ambulance bay 9cm dilated with my bag and left me to traipse across the hospital and up two flights of stairs on my own because he didnt want to pay for hospital parking. She gives me her phone number . Since our house is on the way to the hospital, we stopped to get our bags. I can't believe the ridiculously stupid things being said to defend alcohol abuse here. I had literally lost my mind and was threatening to unhook myself from everything and leave the hospital. Because, he was a little bit tired. The following is an exclusive excerpt of Goodbye, Sweet Girl: A Story of Domestic Violence and Survival, a new memoir by Kelly Sundberg (available June 5). My DH does not drink every night but he is a binge drinker when he/we drink. I had to be induced. to catch during the initial few meetings, but by the time you get to know about it, it is too late. ).Seems this would not be good even after the baby is born. I dont remember anything I said or did after that. 26 years of marriage has taught me to make sure she is comfortable and has what she needs first and to be honest about what I need. Amen. At the hospital he asked over and over If he could leave to go get himself dinner. Rachell, I was in labor all night and ready to go in the morning. The next morning, I rationally explained to him that if I would have gone into labor (I was 38 weeks at that point) I would not have allowed him into the l and d room. It was his decision. 1. I hadnt seen my childs dad (dont even want to tell you what I think of him!) Last week, I made a simple request on the Mommy Shorts fanpage. I called him to come home and he suggested id feel better walking up and down the street. Why do I remember the date so well? But, in the long run, the denial mode is not going to work at all. When he finally woke up to go pee, I asked him for some ice chips and he told me he was tired and was just going to go back to sleep. Okay I did not go through labor we adopted our son but the night they called to say the birthmom was in labor I was at church while my husband was at home. We finally make it to the hospital and Im left alone for quite a while and I find out why when he strolls into the room with his lunch of a turkey sandwich, clam chowder soup and soda and he says, dont worry honey, I didnt forget about you, here are your ice chips. He then proceeds to interview and film every nurse that enters the room and when it is time to film the labor, we were out of film, wonder why. According to the World Health Organisation, around 2% of adults globally have a drinking problem thats over one billion people! For my last birth and for this one I have been an hour away from the hospital. I dont find I get the opportunity to maintain the rage nearly as much as I once did. In the UK, between 3% and 5% of the population suffers from a drinking problem at any one time. Were going to pop some bottles the celebrate the twins arrival. Ignore your husband's alcoholism and start getting used to doing things as a single parent. It really hurts. I replied, What the fuck is wrong with you? He took one too many wrong turns and we ended up in a dodgy end of town. During one particularly painful contraction, I beat my fist against the passenger door. She had yummy ice chips and broth. You don't want him to not be able to function when the baby needs to be cared for during the night. One of the most commonly talked about signs of impending labor, many women begin cleaning and re-arranging baby items in the days or hours before labor begins. Im sorry if you do not want to hear this but someone has got to say it instead of ignoring it. For example, someone might have a problem with drinking but deny it to themselves or their loved ones to avoid admitting they have a drinking problem. said he was not paying for any unnecessary pain medication since he witnessed many cows giving birth and they just plop them out.