Stephen Strange:Protecting your reality, douchebag., Tony Stark:If Thanos needs all six, why dont we just stick this one down a garbage disposal?Dr. Nooo!, Thor: A creepy old man cut my hair off!, [talking about Mjolnir]Thor:Quite unique. [woman blows on his dice]Okay, you too.Rhodey:I dont blow on a mans dice.Tony Stark:Come on, honey bear., Tony Stark: Drop your socks and grab your crocs, were about to get wet on this ride.. Well, she did quite a spread on Tony last year.Tony Stark:And she wrote a story as well., Tony Stark: Let the record reflect that I observe Mr. Hammer entering the chamber and I am wondering if and when any actual expert will also be in attendance., JARVIS:May I say how refreshing it is to finally see you on a video with your clothing on, sir.. I just need these two things.Peter Quill:What?Rocket Raccoon:[laughing]No, I thought itd be funny! Its so much worse., Peter Quill:You put your turd in my bed, I shave you.Rocket:Oh, it wont be my turd. This is the fun-vee. Hidden.Nick Fury:You sure thats what Marvel would want?Carol Danvers:Mar-Vell.Nick Fury:Thats what I said.Carol Danvers:Its two words. [She walks away] Peter Quill:Oh she has no idea. Here are all the best funny quotes from the Captain Marvel film. As we finally ventured off Earth completely we met the rag-tag team that became the Guardians of the Galaxy, although, much like the Avengers, they werent a great team straight away! On my signal, run like hell. I mean They did teach me to tap into powers that I never even knew existed.Dr. Why would I be a Garden of the Galaxy?, Ego:I created what I imagined biological life to be like down to the most minute detail.Drax:Did you make a penis?Peter Quill:Dude!Gamora:What is wrong with you?Drax:If hes a planet, how could he make a baby with your mother? [Kaecilius and his Zealots are sucked into the Dark Dimension]Dr. Stephen Strange:Yeah, you know, you really should have stolen the whole book because the warnings The warnings come after the spells. Stephen Strange:Try me, Beyonc. Natasha Romanoff:Thor, report on the Hulk. Stark said you wouldnt get that because its not a Star Wars reference., Peter Parker:MJ, IMJ:am Spider-Man?Peter Parker:No. With 23 movies so far, not to mention television shows, thats quite a lot of characters, storylines and events. See More Evil . that it's imperceptible. Theres no need to get personal., Gamora:We need to find Peter now and get off this damn planet.Mantis:Ego will have won him to his side by now. Comeptetion between marvel and dc. FedEx Driver:[Checks delivery address]Are you Tony .Stank?War Machine:[Tony looks embarrassed, Rhodey nods]Yes, this is, this is Tony Stank, youre in the right place. Be fiercely independent. Thats low. Also, as an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. The Avengers (April 2012) www.hollywoodreporter.com "That man is playing Galaga! You wouldnt like me when Im hungry.Tough Guy Leader:[in Portuguese]What the hell he is talking about?, Betty Ross:[Betty and Bruce need to get across town in New York City]The subway is probably quickest.Bruce Banner:Me in a metal tube, deep underground with hundreds of people in the most aggressive city in the world?Betty Ross:Right. [Thor carries Loki out of the elevator in front of the guards]Thor:Get help! I have never been jealous. Mar. 12. [Hands Cassie a gift]Cassie Lang:Can I open it now?Paxton:Of course sweetheart, its your birthday. He has a wayNebula:Then we just go!Gamora:No! These are the best funny quotes from Captain America. Stephen Strange:[after having just manipulated time to resurrect Wong]Im breaking the laws of nature. Frank A. Clark Inspirational, Life, Inspiring 292 Copy quote Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you. Unstable dimensional openings. Chester Phillips:Steak.Dr. [Rocket looks around in confusion]Rocket:Is that better?Drax:I dont know.Peter Quill:[snickering]Its worse. While Edward Norton was replaced by Mark Ruffalo in the later films, here was where we first met Bruce Banner and the Other Guy. Whosoever holds this hammer if he be worthy. These are the funniest lines from Ant-Man. Bye, Mr. Criminal!, Street Vendor:Hey! Be on time. Youre Bruce Banner! Well, ImOdin:I know very well who you are, Jane Foster.Jane Foster:[to Thor]You told your dad about me?, Volstagg:Escorting these scoundrels is beneath us.Fandral:Nonsense, my rotund friend. Stephen Strange:Its not a cult.Dr. [Back in Black by AC/DC plays]Peter Parker:Oh, I love Led Zeppelin!, Happy Hogan:Heads-up. Everybody wants a happy ending, right? Stephen Strange:We gotta turn this ship around.Tony Stark:Yeah, now he wants to run. Why do you have your toes out in my lab?TChalla:What, you dont like my royal sandals? Whether you write a touching commencement speech or crack jokes with your friends, these graduation jokes will make your graduation ceremony fun. Well, it probably would have hurt, right? Pet Store Clerk:We dont have horses. 7 "It Doesn't Take X-Ray Vision To See You Are Up To No Good." DC Universe Online (2011) This Superman quote from DC Universe Online is a fun play on the hero's powers and the ability to see right from wrong all at once. [lifts his hand up]Show meHope Van Dyne:[punches Scott in the face, knocking him down]Thats how you punch., Hope Van Dyne:[to Scott]Alright, princess. Can you believe it? Now, go ahead. Oprah. Here are the best funny lines from Spiderman: Homecoming. I fix stuff., [Pepper uses a repulsor on Killian]Tony Stark:Honey?Pepper Potts:Oh my god that was really violent, Aldrich Killian:No more false faces You said you wanted the Mandarin? Hes not going anywhere. A master of witty quips, these are the best funny lines from Iron Man (the first movie). I think its great, an elite force of women warriors. Thor:The gates of Hel are filled with the screams of his victims! "All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.". You are, all of you are beneath me! While the film featured a lot of science talk (quantum realm what?) For the full scoop on what this means, feel free to check out our Privacy Policy and Disclosure. Hey Loki! Korg:Yeah, Noobmaster69. How do you even know that?. Give me a hand, will you? Hulk gives it away., Ned Leeds:Do you lay eggs?Peter Parker:[taken aback]What? "You can't blame gravity for falling in love.". is so slow. This is a day." -Andy Samberg. Stephen Strange:Its Strange.Kaecilius:Maybe. And in it, a great hero, named Kevin Bacon, teaches an entire city full of people with sticks up their butts that, dancing, well, is the greatest thing there is.Gamora:Who put the sticks up their butts?, Drax:I can barely see. The measure of a person, of a herois how well they succeed at being who they are." - Frigga, Avengers: Endgame [she kisses Steve]Peggy Carter:Go get him. [kills Korath]Drax:Metaphor.Peter Quill:Sort of., Gamora:I am going to die surrounded by the biggest idiots in the galaxy., Rocket Raccoon:I live for the simple things like how much this is going to hurt! Dude shows up dressed like a cat and you dont wanna know more?, Spider-Man:Hey guys, you ever see that really old movie, Empire Strikes Back?War Machine:Jesus, Tony, how old is this guy?Iron Man:I dont know, I didnt carbon date him. Drax's lines weren't just outright funny, they communicated to audience members that truly anyone could be a superhero. Five hours in front of the TV. Im gonna commit. Because its really not your style, Rogers.Steve Rogers:Youre right. Marvel 6. *Peter Quill:No, hes not my father! 6. We need to talk!Drax:Im sorry but I like a woman with some meat on her bones.Mantis:[confused]What?Drax:I tried to let you down easily by telling you you were disgusting. I burgled them. Happy Women's Day. Even if the whole world is telling you to move, it is your duty to plant yourself like a tree, look them in the eye, and say 'No, you move'.". You could get hit by a truck tomorrow." Timothe Chalamet "Don't allow people to dim your shine because they are. How much did it hurt?Peter Parker:The spiders dead, Ned., Spider-Man:[secures Daviss hand to his car with a web]Thats going to dissolve in two hours.Aaron Davis:No. Everybody thought you were dead! [Quill presents the prosthetic leg Rocket requested]Rocket Raccoon:Oh, I was just kidding about the leg. Stephen Strange:Well, its everything youve ever wanted. "Noyou're stronger."-Odin Thor: Ragnarok, a fan favorite out of the Marvel franchise, became wildly popular for its witty jokes and relatable characters. Wow, this is awesome!, Hawkeye:I retire for what, like, five minutes, and it all goes to shit., Tony Stark:So, youre the Spiderling. Arent you cute? Including occasionally taking out the trash. These are the funniest lines from Ant-Man and the Wasp. Doctor Strange Quotes Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did. Thor: Ragnarok is one of the funniest films in the MCU (in our opinion) and featured lots of hilarious lines. It is good to once again be among friends. Dr. Get help! Hes our friend.Nebula:All any of you do is yell at each other. Doctor?Dr. Thor:Yes, of course. When Jane discovered the aether she was finally reunited with Thor, and even got to visit Asgard. 26. Ill handle the music. 40 Inspiring Stan Lee Quotes 1. Funny or Die Is Taking Over. As long as the light exists.Peter Quill:And, I could use the light to build cool things like, how you made this whole planet?Ego:Well, it might take you a few million years of practice before you get really good at it. Nick Furys calling you. "To have an idea is the easiest thing in the world. [Pepper, glowing with Extremis, swats him away with a pole and looks at Tony, who thought she was dead]Tony Stark:I got nothing., JARVIS:I seem to do quite well for a stretch, and then at the end of the sentence I say the wrong cranberry.. The best part of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 might be baby Groot, but the clever quips certainly come in second. King of Asgard. [pause]On the inside.. I mean, not that its not nice. There was a black guy that looked exactly like me who attacked us and put us in the back of this disgusting van., Hope Van Dyne:[Referring to a napping Luis, Dave and Kurt]I gave them each half a Xanax and Hank explained the science of the suit to them. Nine hours in bed. "Whosoever holds this hammer, if he be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor.". Stephen Strange:I seriously dont know how you fit your head into that helmet.Tony Stark:Admit it, you shouldve ducked out when I told you to. "Worrying means you suffer twice.". I mean thats the job, but THIS? How long has that been going on?Clint Barton:Has what?Laura:[laughs]You are so cute.Clint Barton:Nat and and Banner?Laura:Ill explain when youre older. It was made from this special metal from the heart of a dying star. While his journey to meet the Ancient One and master magic wasnt hilarious in itself, there were still moments to make us chuckle. Monica: "It's never taken you more than a shower to get over a relationship.". tags: comics , inspirational , marvel , marvel-comics , stan-lee. There is no 'try'.". Okay, Im gonna get a Bowflex. With the birth of the destructive Ultron and the addition of three new members to the Avengers team, Avengers: Age of Ultron still managed to pack in plenty of laughs. I came to realize that I had more to offer this world than just making things that blow up. "Your education is a dress rehearsal for a life that is yours to lead.". Hank Pym:Quantum entanglement, Scott., Dr. [Closes his helmet and pushes the button that shrinks him]Kurt:[Gasps, jumps out of chair]This is the work of gypsies!Dave:Thats witchcraft!Luis:[Keeping his cool]Thats amazing. The events of the second Ant-Man film coincided with what was happening in Infinity War, on a parallel storyline. Luckily for us all those head-butts also lead to plenty of banter. Dr. If, at first, you don't succeed, try to hide your astonishment. Sorry, I cant remember anybodys names., Bruce Banner:Whos Scott?Steve Rogers:Ant-Man.Bruce Banner:Theres an Ant-Man and a Spider-Man?, Okoye:When you said you were going to open Wakanda to the rest of the world, this is not what I imagined.TChalla:What did you imagine?Okoye:The Olympics, maybe even a Starbucks., [Thor appears with Stormbreaker]Bruce Banner:[laughs with joy]You guys are so screwed now!, Steve Rogers: New haircut? 17. But one thing that all of the Marvel films share is a penchant for a witty quip. Yeah!KAREN:Activating Instant-Kill.Peter Parker:What? But it takes practice and, um, dare I say it, talent to do it well.Nick Fury:Can you turn into a cat?Talos:Whats a cat?Maria Rambeau:What about a filing cabinet?Talos:Why would I turn into a filing cabinet?Nick Fury:A venus fly trap. Sometimes a little too much. But, yes!Peter Quill:What! "You are graduating from college. Im here to pick up a fossil.Steve Rogers:Thats hilarious., Natasha Romanoff:Did you do anything fun Saturday night? Some jerk lost a bet with me in Contraxia.Thor:They gave you his eye?Rocket Raccoon:No, he gave me a hundred credits. Stephen Strange:No, I didnt. Share these yearbook quotes with your friends. Thor:No, I didnt ride the hammer. Louisa May Alcott Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated. Ha! [the Marauders all surrender]Fandral:Perhaps next time you should start with the big one!, Dr. So clandestine. Hammer!Darcy:Yeah, we can tell youre hammered., [Thor brings a drunken Selvig home] Jane Foster:What happened?Thor:Hes fine! What do people call you?Nick Fury:Fury.Carol Danvers:Just Fury?Nick Fury:Yep. 15. Thor destroys the monster with one hit with Mjolnir]Thor:Anyone else? Korg:Thank you, Thor. Drax: But my movement. Look, I like you, a lot. He's a hero, and he's had an amazing legacy for 75 years. With a shout of "Underoos!" he calls in a familiar neighborhood . I thought you drowned., Happy Hogan:You handle the suit. Tony Stark:[about Natalie Rushman]Who is she?Pepper Potts:She is from legal and she is potentially a very expensive sexual harassment lawsuit if you keep ogling her like that., Tony Stark:How do you spell your name, Natalie?Natalie Rushman:R-U-S-H-M-A-N.Pepper Potts:What, are you Googling her now?Tony Stark:I thought I was ogling her?, Tony Stark: [to Nick Fury regarding The Avengers initiative]I told you I dont want to join your super-secret boy band., [Agent Coulson is left in charge of Tony]Agent Coulson:If you try to escape, or play any sort of games with me, I will taze you and watch Supernanny while you drool into the carpet., Tony Stark: [reading from Natashas SHIELD Report on Iron Man/Tony Stark] Mr. Stark displays textbook narcissism. You are not friends.Drax:Youre right. 9: "As far as I'm concerned, that's America's ass" (Endgame) - Ant Man Yes Tony, you don't have to look (but yeah, we get you). Dont you say it!Steve Rogers:[running by Sam]On your left.Sam Wilson:Come on man!, Natasha Romanoff:Hey, fellas. After Tony Stark told the world he was Iron Man, he had to deal with the fallout in Iron Man 2. Yondu Udonta:Were Ravagers, we got a code.Peter Quill:Yeah, and that code is: steal from everybody., Gamora:Its dangerous and illegal work, suitable only for outlaws.Peter Quill:Well, I come from a planet of outlaws: Billy the Kid, Bonnie and Clyde, John Stamos., Groot:I am Groot.Peter Quill:Well thats just as fascinating as the first 89 times you told me that. [Ross shuts up]MBaku:Im kidding. Seriously? Who are you?Thor:I am the God of Thunder! [Natasha throws Sitwell off the roof]Natasha Romanoff:Oh, wait. And whats your name, huh? You, Quill, are my friend.Peter Quill:Thanks.Drax the Destroyer:This dumb tree is also my friend. Orphaned on my homeworld. [Drax gestures at his chin and gut]Peter Quill:Gamora, do you think ImMantis:[sensing Thor]He is anxious, angry, he feels tremendous loss and guilt.Drax:Its like a pirate had a baby with an angel.Peter Quill:Wow. Are you sure you wouldnt rather punch your way out?Thor:If you keep talking, I might., [Thor and Loki commandeer a Harrow]Loki:Look, why dont you let me take over? It was always me, Tony, right from the start! "If you want to do something right, you make a list." - Scott Lang, 'Ant Man & The Wasp', 2018. We look like ourselves at a baseball game., Cassie:Dont just stand there! Funny graduation quotes "We're only here for so long. Im, like, Boom. Nope, that's worse. Let me get my fingerprint out. Love you, Mama! And so far, the biggest one weve had is you., [Scott Lang shrunk down to a childs size; runs into Pyms car after going undercover in a school]Dr. Hank Pym:Hiya, champ, how was school today?Scott Lang:Aw, ha ha ha! Parton made this funny remark during her 2009 commencement speech at the University of Tennessee: "Now I usually try not to . Hes a friend from work! Not Joseph. The latter challenges the former to a duel, insisting that the only way she can prove .